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Push One For English. . .
(by Gary Godfrey - April 28, 2008)
It appears the Bradford Village Council is laying deaf ears on the residents. The new park ordinance remains as is. It looks like the only recourse is to repeal the law. Now we’ll see what the residents are made of?
In other areas of concern, hear me out.
I spend much of my working life on the telephone. Can you remember 40 years ago, when you first heard a familiar voice saying, “Sorry I can’t take your call right now, but leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”
What a great idea! At least now, they know I called and we can forget about playing “phone tag”.
Businesses, on the other hand, are a different story.
It use to b e a pleasant voice would answer your questions, or direct you promptly to the department or person you needed to talk to.
But today, you’re given an automated detour. I can’t imagine anyone who hasn’t went through what I call the “Drill”. First you have to tell the voice if you speak English? “Of course I speak English, I live in America,” I say to myself.
Then they usually ask for your telephone number, or worst yet your account number. “Are you kidding me, I can’t remember what I had for lunch.”
Then you have to go through a series of multiple-choice questions, each one leading to another. Until finally you reach a live, human voice -- who knows English, but you can’t understand with the Indian dialect -- but directs you to another department.
Once again you’re ask a series of questions, similar to the screening of Let’s Make A Deal.
Finally you reach Michael (the arch angel) with a genuine, human voice. He listens to your communication problems and request without interruption. When you’re all through, he politely says: “I’m sorry Mr. Godfrey, but Mr. Biggs is out of the office this afternoon -- would you like for me to transfer you to customer service?”
“NO! Please don’t transfer me again,” I scream.
You quietly hang up the telephone, and instantly remember the very first machine voice that said: “Your call is very important to us.”
“Yeah right. Just like the Village Council!”
This week’s bottom line: Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
Ronald Reagan
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