Secrets To A Happy Marriage

After 49 years of marriage, I have to pass this little tid-bit to all you youngsters out there. Ginger and I have developed some simple rules to get us this far.

For example: We split our garage right down the middle. All of my tools are just where I put them. You can use anything in my shop; you just have to put back where you find it.

Ginger’s maid rule is that she does the laundry, and because of her arthritis, she wants me to make sure my shirts are not put into the hamper wrong side out. Both of these rules are just one of many, but the later dose get me into trouble sometimes.

When I get up in the mornings, and Ginger is trying to catch a little more Z’s, I won’t turn on any lights or try to be a quiet as a mouse. Now that you have the pictures, the plot thickens.

I went to work just as I always do, and after my four mile drive, I entered the building with my usual smile and greetings of a good morning to everyone I meet. On this particular morning, it was Don Selanders I greeted first. We momentarily try to solve the world’s problems and of course we mention our grand children. Don is on his usual roll, when he suddenly stops talking, and asked: “Did you know you have your shirt on wrong side out?”

I immediately head for the nearest bathroom and start talking to the guy in the mirror. “Momma said there would be days like this!”

On my return Don couldn’t control himself, he was laughing entirely too much at my expense.

“Thank for telling me about my shirt,” I murmured. “I would have really been embarrassed if a client had to tell me to turn my shirt on the right side.”

I have one more rule that the young married couples need to know about. This one will keep you out of the doghouse more times that I’ve counted.

When your wife asks you one of those hard questions, “does this dress make me look fat?”

Whatever you do, don’t answer her. It is safe to say something like, ”What do you think dear?” And remember; always answer her with another question.

If you answer truthfully, you will probably be in the trouble for the rest of your life.

This week’s bottom line: I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Lyndon B. Johnson

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